I’m a Gen Xer too and I second this. My parents definitely never promised me more than, “work hard and you too could be the proud co-owner (with the bank) of a suburban ranch with a color TV!”
Oh yeah, to be clear-- these were not parental promises (or promises from teachers or authority figures directly). They were the promises of ads and new product launches and politicians and the fields of work I was in.
Apologies to A. L. H. for kinda hijacking this thread for a moment.
Your piece (excellent) and this comment thread got me thinking a lot today. Particularly about how much growing up has changed in the last few generations and how that translates to organizing and community responsibility.
We Gen Xers like to revel in the fact that we’re self-reliant. Many of us came home every day to empty houses and often fed ourselves dinner and entertained ourselves into the early evening. Our generation is small compared to those surrounding us so we feel forgotten. My friend likes to joke that the X stands for expendable. But I think maybe we’d be better served to drop our sarcasm and snark (like I displayed above) and maybe do something good.
We are in a unique position in that our childhoods were, in most ways, not that different from our parents and grandparents (I didn’t see the internet or have an email address until college, for example). By contrast, we have parented our kids through an upbringing that would almost be unrecognizable to our parents and grandparents. We can navigate multiple generations and relate (at least in many ways) to all of them. Maybe we should be using this not to feel superior and snobbish but to help build bridges.
Maybe when I was in my 20s or 30s but certainly not when I was a child or teenager. My brother had a subscription to Popular Mechanics where there were all sorts of future imaginations like flying cars and he bought a tiny handheld black and white TV, but they were small things limited to very small imaginations. I mostly remember being told that Reagan fucked everything up and I shouldn’t depend on getting social security (I’ve been hearing that since I started working at the age of 14).
Good question! My friends and I have conversations about this a lot. We tend to get stuck in this “we’re screwed” mentality from our childhood” (and for a minute there I was researching all of those urban survival / bug in guides thinking it would be me and my adult child fending for ourselves if the world collapses).
But then I read lyz’s Disaster Survival Guide post with all of the resources about how to do things differently (which, btw, as an old person I still need to figure out how to use Discord so I can join that one y’all have!) and I’ve been taking a deep dive into all of them / working on developing relationships with people so we can depend on each other if we need to.
There’s also a weird little community that’s popped up via my neighborhood Facebook group (completely without my help) where people are sharing what they’re good at (like one person can mend clothes, fix cars, etc) and another person is making buttons to wear when you’re walking around to start conversations.
I don’t know whether any of that makes me feel more optimistic but it does make me feel less alone. Someone asked once what my biggest fear was and I said that I’m not going to be alive *too* much longer and I’ve lived through painful enough things to know that I have the life skills to get through what comes (except maybe torture).
My biggest fear is that my (adult) children will have a life of suffering and won’t see the kind of happiness and joy I’ve always hoped for and promised them (I’ve never promised them success or material goods, but I have promised them that). That – not optimism – is what is keeping me motivated to do something.
You answered it beautifully, in that you answered it so vulnerably and wisely. Thank you for this! It's so hard to keep moving with all the (very good) reasons to dread, isn't it?
Instead of "so, onward . . .", "nevertheless, onward . . ." is the word i should have used.
We all are not going to get stuck in a so easy to succumb to rage cycle. We are going to do the hard work of doing the right thing with hope and in the face of no guarantees.
You've connected some dots for me between "frictionlessness" and what I think of as the "halftime speech" model of organizing (you make one big speech, or grand gesture, and bam! instant solidarity!)
They feel kind of opposed (the Avengers only assemble when they're about to literally collide with a bunch of foes, which is definitionally high friction) but really, the idea of "one big fight" or "one big speech" bringing about solidarity is about as "insta-organizing" as you could get.
I was going to write about this in response to last week's group chat, but I think there's a huge amount to be learned about what the American cultural machine gets wrong about organizing in the choices that the filmmakers made when they adapted The Wild Robot for the screen.
Yes to the connections with the organizing halftime speech (or for those of us who were inspired by Obama, the perfect rousing DNC speech).
Also, Alec, you continue to be the king of giving new uniquely compelling reasons for me to check out media I haven't yet (this time around: the Wild Robot).
Oof, this was a sucker punch to my inner self-critic. (A good thing, she needs to be punched sometimes.) I'm a younger millennial who's been using social media since she was 13, so my community building brain is definitely still a baby deer. 🦌
Actually, there current is an “energy intensive technology” that can write the “jump in the lake” letter to Marc Andreessen. (Whether it is persuasive remains to be seen.)
I requested such a letter using ChatGPT (version 4o). I received 3 responses. One was more humorous, the second was more serious and a bit generic, and the third was a combination but more policy specific. I have included the third version below and am sending it to Mr. Andreessen.
In our search for “the promised land” the following may apply.
1. There may be no promised land or perhaps this is the promised land with an abundance of issues and opportunities requiring intelligence, perseverance, hard work…
2. Part of the hard work is ignoring or see through the “ad-man’s pitch” - recognizing that the ad-man or ad-woman or ad AI character is a paid seller of product, no more and no less. At best they are simply a starting point for doing whatever research you need to do to eventuate their claim.
3. Another bit of the hard work is the effort you are promoting to keep applying pressure to the system that is not working in order to improve it so it becomes a system that does work.
4, As in the letter to Andreessen example, recognizing items 1-3 and using a bit of technology (Substack, AI…) we can make progress toward a rational, intelligent, life-centric future.
So here is the third Andreessen letter -
Dear Mr. Andreessen,
I hope this letter reaches you during a rare break between tweeting about “techno-optimism,” rewriting the social contract in a Google Doc, or drafting manifestos on why billionaires should be left alone with their toys.
Let me be clear: you’re a smart man. Visionary, even. But lately your vision seems laser-focused on a future that works great—for about 0.01% of us. You’ve become the high priest of a gospel that preaches innovation without obligation, disruption without democracy, and freedom without friction. It’s slick, it’s marketable, and it’s dangerously myopic.
You rail against regulation, especially when it might slow AI’s race to “solve everything.” But let’s be honest: it’s easier to talk about artificial intelligence saving the world than to engage with the messy business of governing one. While you argue that the EU’s AI Act is a death knell for progress, many of us are just wondering how we can keep our data, our jobs, and our elections from being strip-mined by the platforms your venture capital empire props up.
You’ve dismissed critics of surveillance capitalism as Luddites and fearmongers, but privacy is not nostalgia—it’s a precondition for freedom. Likewise, your support for cryptocurrency as a tool of liberation conveniently ignores its real-world use as a haven for fraud, tax evasion, and capital flight. And your version of YIMBY urbanism—build anything, anywhere, immediately—might sound like progress, but without affordable housing mandates or tenant protections, it's just a developer’s dream dressed up in startup hoodie logic.
You champion “decentralization,” but it seems you mostly mean decentralizing responsibility—especially from tech elites who treat democracy as a speed bump on the road to their next liquidity event.
So here’s my modest proposal: take a break. Unplug. Walk to the edge of Lake Tahoe, or any non-metaverse body of water, and jump in. Let the cold water remind you that not everything is code. That governance isn’t a bug. That human dignity requires more than an app and a Terms of Service.
Consider it a reboot. Sometimes the system hangs because it’s overloaded with arrogance.
Warm regards (and chilly waters),
A Fellow Citizen Who Likes Their Tech With a Bit More Accountability
Love you going the extra mile to prove the lack of persuasiveness! And also, my bad (re: my own writing skill) for not making it clear enough-- I was trying to make a joke about how "if only there was a thing like Chat GPT" but didn't quite hit the landing, probably (though if my not hitting the landing inspired this response, I'll take it!
I guess the one benefit of being Gen X is that we pretty much expected things would suck. Or at least that’s how I remember it.
I’m a Gen Xer too and I second this. My parents definitely never promised me more than, “work hard and you too could be the proud co-owner (with the bank) of a suburban ranch with a color TV!”
Oh yeah, to be clear-- these were not parental promises (or promises from teachers or authority figures directly). They were the promises of ads and new product launches and politicians and the fields of work I was in.
I got you, Garrett.
Apologies to A. L. H. for kinda hijacking this thread for a moment.
Your piece (excellent) and this comment thread got me thinking a lot today. Particularly about how much growing up has changed in the last few generations and how that translates to organizing and community responsibility.
We Gen Xers like to revel in the fact that we’re self-reliant. Many of us came home every day to empty houses and often fed ourselves dinner and entertained ourselves into the early evening. Our generation is small compared to those surrounding us so we feel forgotten. My friend likes to joke that the X stands for expendable. But I think maybe we’d be better served to drop our sarcasm and snark (like I displayed above) and maybe do something good.
We are in a unique position in that our childhoods were, in most ways, not that different from our parents and grandparents (I didn’t see the internet or have an email address until college, for example). By contrast, we have parented our kids through an upbringing that would almost be unrecognizable to our parents and grandparents. We can navigate multiple generations and relate (at least in many ways) to all of them. Maybe we should be using this not to feel superior and snobbish but to help build bridges.
Oh interesting-- though I assume that Gen X too has lived through waves of technology being promised as making lives better.
Maybe when I was in my 20s or 30s but certainly not when I was a child or teenager. My brother had a subscription to Popular Mechanics where there were all sorts of future imaginations like flying cars and he bought a tiny handheld black and white TV, but they were small things limited to very small imaginations. I mostly remember being told that Reagan fucked everything up and I shouldn’t depend on getting social security (I’ve been hearing that since I started working at the age of 14).
Super interesting. How has his pessimism about the future influenced your openness to community-building, organizing and social change?
Good question! My friends and I have conversations about this a lot. We tend to get stuck in this “we’re screwed” mentality from our childhood” (and for a minute there I was researching all of those urban survival / bug in guides thinking it would be me and my adult child fending for ourselves if the world collapses).
But then I read lyz’s Disaster Survival Guide post with all of the resources about how to do things differently (which, btw, as an old person I still need to figure out how to use Discord so I can join that one y’all have!) and I’ve been taking a deep dive into all of them / working on developing relationships with people so we can depend on each other if we need to.
There’s also a weird little community that’s popped up via my neighborhood Facebook group (completely without my help) where people are sharing what they’re good at (like one person can mend clothes, fix cars, etc) and another person is making buttons to wear when you’re walking around to start conversations.
I don’t know whether any of that makes me feel more optimistic but it does make me feel less alone. Someone asked once what my biggest fear was and I said that I’m not going to be alive *too* much longer and I’ve lived through painful enough things to know that I have the life skills to get through what comes (except maybe torture).
My biggest fear is that my (adult) children will have a life of suffering and won’t see the kind of happiness and joy I’ve always hoped for and promised them (I’ve never promised them success or material goods, but I have promised them that). That – not optimism – is what is keeping me motivated to do something.
I don’t know if that answered your question.
You answered it beautifully, in that you answered it so vulnerably and wisely. Thank you for this! It's so hard to keep moving with all the (very good) reasons to dread, isn't it?
I read your essay and concluded the following:
Rage is easy. Grace takes effort.
So, onward with Grace.
It's hard isn't it??
Instead of "so, onward . . .", "nevertheless, onward . . ." is the word i should have used.
We all are not going to get stuck in a so easy to succumb to rage cycle. We are going to do the hard work of doing the right thing with hope and in the face of no guarantees.
(This is absolutely a pep talk for myself ;-)
I too would like to produce nonsense bumper stickers. You inspire me!
Pretty fun!
You've connected some dots for me between "frictionlessness" and what I think of as the "halftime speech" model of organizing (you make one big speech, or grand gesture, and bam! instant solidarity!)
They feel kind of opposed (the Avengers only assemble when they're about to literally collide with a bunch of foes, which is definitionally high friction) but really, the idea of "one big fight" or "one big speech" bringing about solidarity is about as "insta-organizing" as you could get.
I was going to write about this in response to last week's group chat, but I think there's a huge amount to be learned about what the American cultural machine gets wrong about organizing in the choices that the filmmakers made when they adapted The Wild Robot for the screen.
Yes to the connections with the organizing halftime speech (or for those of us who were inspired by Obama, the perfect rousing DNC speech).
Also, Alec, you continue to be the king of giving new uniquely compelling reasons for me to check out media I haven't yet (this time around: the Wild Robot).
I cannot recommend the book highly enough. Also, we listened to it as a family on a road trip, which was a great way to experience it.
And you nailed it about the perfect rousing DNC speech. But, and hear me out, what if Will.I.Am turned it into a song?
It's wild how little that song gets talked about today! It was massive! It felt like it meaningfully impacted that primary!
Oof, this was a sucker punch to my inner self-critic. (A good thing, she needs to be punched sometimes.) I'm a younger millennial who's been using social media since she was 13, so my community building brain is definitely still a baby deer. 🦌
Waves in baby deer!
Actually, there current is an “energy intensive technology” that can write the “jump in the lake” letter to Marc Andreessen. (Whether it is persuasive remains to be seen.)
I requested such a letter using ChatGPT (version 4o). I received 3 responses. One was more humorous, the second was more serious and a bit generic, and the third was a combination but more policy specific. I have included the third version below and am sending it to Mr. Andreessen.
In our search for “the promised land” the following may apply.
1. There may be no promised land or perhaps this is the promised land with an abundance of issues and opportunities requiring intelligence, perseverance, hard work…
2. Part of the hard work is ignoring or see through the “ad-man’s pitch” - recognizing that the ad-man or ad-woman or ad AI character is a paid seller of product, no more and no less. At best they are simply a starting point for doing whatever research you need to do to eventuate their claim.
3. Another bit of the hard work is the effort you are promoting to keep applying pressure to the system that is not working in order to improve it so it becomes a system that does work.
4, As in the letter to Andreessen example, recognizing items 1-3 and using a bit of technology (Substack, AI…) we can make progress toward a rational, intelligent, life-centric future.
So here is the third Andreessen letter -
Dear Mr. Andreessen,
I hope this letter reaches you during a rare break between tweeting about “techno-optimism,” rewriting the social contract in a Google Doc, or drafting manifestos on why billionaires should be left alone with their toys.
Let me be clear: you’re a smart man. Visionary, even. But lately your vision seems laser-focused on a future that works great—for about 0.01% of us. You’ve become the high priest of a gospel that preaches innovation without obligation, disruption without democracy, and freedom without friction. It’s slick, it’s marketable, and it’s dangerously myopic.
You rail against regulation, especially when it might slow AI’s race to “solve everything.” But let’s be honest: it’s easier to talk about artificial intelligence saving the world than to engage with the messy business of governing one. While you argue that the EU’s AI Act is a death knell for progress, many of us are just wondering how we can keep our data, our jobs, and our elections from being strip-mined by the platforms your venture capital empire props up.
You’ve dismissed critics of surveillance capitalism as Luddites and fearmongers, but privacy is not nostalgia—it’s a precondition for freedom. Likewise, your support for cryptocurrency as a tool of liberation conveniently ignores its real-world use as a haven for fraud, tax evasion, and capital flight. And your version of YIMBY urbanism—build anything, anywhere, immediately—might sound like progress, but without affordable housing mandates or tenant protections, it's just a developer’s dream dressed up in startup hoodie logic.
You champion “decentralization,” but it seems you mostly mean decentralizing responsibility—especially from tech elites who treat democracy as a speed bump on the road to their next liquidity event.
So here’s my modest proposal: take a break. Unplug. Walk to the edge of Lake Tahoe, or any non-metaverse body of water, and jump in. Let the cold water remind you that not everything is code. That governance isn’t a bug. That human dignity requires more than an app and a Terms of Service.
Consider it a reboot. Sometimes the system hangs because it’s overloaded with arrogance.
Warm regards (and chilly waters),
A Fellow Citizen Who Likes Their Tech With a Bit More Accountability
Love you going the extra mile to prove the lack of persuasiveness! And also, my bad (re: my own writing skill) for not making it clear enough-- I was trying to make a joke about how "if only there was a thing like Chat GPT" but didn't quite hit the landing, probably (though if my not hitting the landing inspired this response, I'll take it!
The end of this essay made me think of a great recent piece by Casey Johnston on how to conceive of activism. https://www.shesabeast.co/its-not-a-marathon-or-a-sprint-its-strength-training/
Ooh can't wait to read!
This is so good, Garrett
Do you know Szymborska's poem?
https://redhibiscus2.blogspot.com/2008/01/szymborska-centurys-decline.html?m=1
Never had the pleasure!
I've read through the comments and didn't see anything like this link, but it was the first thing I thought of reading this post.
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/05/12/style/skylight-hearth-digital-calendars-marriage.html?unlocked_article_code=1.HE8.NRqT.KOPGefkYp7lj&smid=url-share
Oh jeez I completely missed this!! Yikes!!!
I had somehow missed the Quakers marching, but then clicked on yer link and had a "I know that guy!" moment. Philly, man. Size of a sleeping bag.
Amazing