I've cried with and for my 20-year-old daughter every day since this awful news broke. She works as a camp counselor, on the banks of a different river, and she knows the joy and anxiety of those loved ones as they drop off their campers. She has looked so many of them in the eye and told them she would take care of their baby, and that's exactly what she does. She treats them like her own for the week that she has them, and she has been devastated to consider how crushing it would be if she couldn't help them all. We have cried together thinking about losing their beloved camp director, another white-haired grandfather type who already does whatever it takes to protect and guide the kids in his camp every week. We have cried together over all the times I've felt this same way as a teacher, after a school shooting. There are endless other examples, of course. All of them quietly heroic, showing up to see and know and love kids before the tragedy happens. My daughter heads back to camp next week, where she will face those parents again, and offer the same bright-eyed reassurance. She will do what she can. And I'll probably cry all over again when she does.
I will be thinking of you and her and the tears. And the educator in a time of school shooting metaphors ring true in a way I wish it didn't. Can young adult counselors be heroically caring? Absolutely. But should they be asked to, in a world in which care was not excessed until the last possible moment? Of course not. Let young adults learn to say that they will take care of other people's babies and not have to doubt that the task will ever be beyond their abilities.
“the Texans who clean up the messes that the Dan Crenshaws of the world create.” There are so many of those folks. As someone born and raised in Texas, this moved me.
I love the mess-cleaner-uppers in so many states, but there is something special about the rabble rousing/activist-y/caring even when its hard that I've gotten to know over the years.
Finlandia-thank you so much for reminding me of that beautiful, beautiful song. (It's in the Unitarian Universalist church hymnal, which is where I first saw the words).
I will always remember the first time I heard Finlandia, sung at a small anti war vigil right after September 11th, when the drums were beating so loudly.
***We’re watching Get Out friends. Thursday at 8:30 PM CT using the Substack chat.***
OH MY GOODNESS! This is super exciting. Alas, it will be about 3:30 am here in Sweden when y'all enjoy this exciting film and chat. I am super sorry to miss it and thrilled that you have set this up despite your horror of horror films. Thanks, Garrett! I would comment on your excellent essay if I thought I had anything to add, but nope. Just sorrow.
I of all people (who has had to struggle with U.S.-timed based things when I've lived in Sweden) should be more consideration of Sweden time when scheduling things! Fortunately, the chat is still super fun to follow/interact with when it isn't live.
Apologizing in advance for what must needs sound callous and uncaring, yet was and continues to be my deepest felt reaction. I keep wondering, if Texas had remained part of Mexico, what sort of support they'd have been receiving from the beginning. Family and community seem to be high on the value list among our Southern neighbors. They have a million other "issues," so I'm definitely not suggesting anything near Eden, but a much broader definition of kin and community seem to obtain.
You are wise to acknowledge that, of course, Mexican readers and friends could no doubt regale us with stories of all the ways that their country, too, needs to become more caring, but it is notable that it's hard to look at our country whether we are doing right by all 50 of our states.
Cartel, government with blind eye, police involvement in the drug trade--anybody who's ever dealt with any of that would vehemently disagree with my post. I was specifically connecting to the valuing of family and community that I've experienced specifically in Mexico. For me, it hearkens back to the 50s here, before mobile society and "more-ism" took over. There was LOTS wrong in the 50's and people of color and women of any racial group will shout from the rafters about their mandated roles, but community and family were a strong part of growing up for me.
Looking forward to Get Out again. I first watched it through my fingers in a movie theater. (I don't do horror like I used to.) Watched it again at home where I could pause, rewind, etc. It wasn't as bad as it seemed in the theater. And the jump-scare in Sinners is probably the worst one I've had in a while ... I can still feel it if I think about it too long ... much worse than anything I remember in Get Out. We'll see.
I've cried with and for my 20-year-old daughter every day since this awful news broke. She works as a camp counselor, on the banks of a different river, and she knows the joy and anxiety of those loved ones as they drop off their campers. She has looked so many of them in the eye and told them she would take care of their baby, and that's exactly what she does. She treats them like her own for the week that she has them, and she has been devastated to consider how crushing it would be if she couldn't help them all. We have cried together thinking about losing their beloved camp director, another white-haired grandfather type who already does whatever it takes to protect and guide the kids in his camp every week. We have cried together over all the times I've felt this same way as a teacher, after a school shooting. There are endless other examples, of course. All of them quietly heroic, showing up to see and know and love kids before the tragedy happens. My daughter heads back to camp next week, where she will face those parents again, and offer the same bright-eyed reassurance. She will do what she can. And I'll probably cry all over again when she does.
I will be thinking of you and her and the tears. And the educator in a time of school shooting metaphors ring true in a way I wish it didn't. Can young adult counselors be heroically caring? Absolutely. But should they be asked to, in a world in which care was not excessed until the last possible moment? Of course not. Let young adults learn to say that they will take care of other people's babies and not have to doubt that the task will ever be beyond their abilities.
“the Texans who clean up the messes that the Dan Crenshaws of the world create.” There are so many of those folks. As someone born and raised in Texas, this moved me.
I love the mess-cleaner-uppers in so many states, but there is something special about the rabble rousing/activist-y/caring even when its hard that I've gotten to know over the years.
Finlandia-thank you so much for reminding me of that beautiful, beautiful song. (It's in the Unitarian Universalist church hymnal, which is where I first saw the words).
Your piece today reminded me why I subscribe.
I will always remember the first time I heard Finlandia, sung at a small anti war vigil right after September 11th, when the drums were beating so loudly.
And I'm from Austin TX so this hits home.
I love Texas, and Texans, so much.
Love Rebecca Traister too, but Paradise Built in Hell is by the irreplaceable Rebecca Solnit.
Thank you once again for a very thoughtful piece.
Ope! Of course Thank you for catching and it's fixed now.
We sang Finlandia in church Sunday! It's in that old-school UMC hymnal from our youths. 😄
***We’re watching Get Out friends. Thursday at 8:30 PM CT using the Substack chat.***
OH MY GOODNESS! This is super exciting. Alas, it will be about 3:30 am here in Sweden when y'all enjoy this exciting film and chat. I am super sorry to miss it and thrilled that you have set this up despite your horror of horror films. Thanks, Garrett! I would comment on your excellent essay if I thought I had anything to add, but nope. Just sorrow.
I of all people (who has had to struggle with U.S.-timed based things when I've lived in Sweden) should be more consideration of Sweden time when scheduling things! Fortunately, the chat is still super fun to follow/interact with when it isn't live.
Nah. I appreciate the thought but honestly no. At least not in this case. 😘
Apologizing in advance for what must needs sound callous and uncaring, yet was and continues to be my deepest felt reaction. I keep wondering, if Texas had remained part of Mexico, what sort of support they'd have been receiving from the beginning. Family and community seem to be high on the value list among our Southern neighbors. They have a million other "issues," so I'm definitely not suggesting anything near Eden, but a much broader definition of kin and community seem to obtain.
You are wise to acknowledge that, of course, Mexican readers and friends could no doubt regale us with stories of all the ways that their country, too, needs to become more caring, but it is notable that it's hard to look at our country whether we are doing right by all 50 of our states.
Cartel, government with blind eye, police involvement in the drug trade--anybody who's ever dealt with any of that would vehemently disagree with my post. I was specifically connecting to the valuing of family and community that I've experienced specifically in Mexico. For me, it hearkens back to the 50s here, before mobile society and "more-ism" took over. There was LOTS wrong in the 50's and people of color and women of any racial group will shout from the rafters about their mandated roles, but community and family were a strong part of growing up for me.
Looking forward to Get Out again. I first watched it through my fingers in a movie theater. (I don't do horror like I used to.) Watched it again at home where I could pause, rewind, etc. It wasn't as bad as it seemed in the theater. And the jump-scare in Sinners is probably the worst one I've had in a while ... I can still feel it if I think about it too long ... much worse than anything I remember in Get Out. We'll see.
Thanks for reassuring me about the scariness! That's the reason I still haven't watched!