Garrett, please help me if you can -- I honestly have tears in my eyes as I write this.
I know you are always talking about reaching out and loving one another and I absolutely agree in principle, but what with the absolute devastation of cuts to USAID, and elimination of equity programs, and the women who are dying without access to reproductive care, and deportations destroying families and the seniors who are losing lifesaving medications and the kids who can't live safely as themselves, I'm just not feeling any love for the voters who put Trump and Vance and Steven Miller and Musk and the rest of them in power.
I keep hearing how all that needless misery isn't what those voters were choosing, they just wanted more affordable groceries, but I don't believe that, not really. I think there are a lot of folks who are getting some mean satisfaction from knowing that other people are suffering even worse than they are.
I'm close to living the stereotype of the clueless coastal liberal elite, and I know that gives me a lot of privilege-blindness. I know that capitalism and racism and all the rest have rotted our country since the very beginning. I'm not trying to distance myself from the reality or impress anyone with my cool, "not like the others" white person cred, but people will die, and this time around the mostly-white Republican voters chose it. Love, or even a shred of kindness, toward them does not feel possible for me right now.
Julia, I feel every ounce of your feeling in your words-- anger, grief, stuckness-- and most of all I just want to say how important all of those feelings are. How can we not feel just absolute heartbreak (and yes, resentment) at people who were conscious enablers? More than anything else, I just want to send love and connection your way right now.
As for love, outreach and empathy, I wouldn't beat yourself up yet that there are people and group that, right now, it feels harder to extend that light towards. You're right that I'm a big believer in the outstretched hand (and not a big believer in retribution), again, there is good reason for your anger and heartbreak right now. Speaking for myself personally, when I'm in that moment, I find it more productive to ask "so, where DO I feel drawn to show love and hospitality right now?" and focus so strongly on that work that your own discipline of love work (again, it doesn't have to be towards the folks you're most angry towards right now) feels more irresistible.
That's just some initial thoughts, though, which may or may not be helpful. Most of all I'm just so grateful for you being so willing to share out loud-- you're not alone! I know you spoke for so many (Including me). Let me know if you ever want to talk more/longer.
I took a meditation class last year from a Buddhist teacher. One week, we learned loving-kindness meditations, where you invite into your heart a person for whom you have great affection—say, a dear friend, a sibling, a grandparent. Then you move on to people whom you feel more neutral toward (the mail carrier, barista, a friend of a friend you've met a couple times). Finally, you extend loving-kindness to "problematic" people, ones you may even have an adversarial relationship with.
Afterwards, I said to the teacher that I was simply unable to extend my loving-kindness to Trump and Vance (who were running for office at the time of the class). He thought for a moment and agreed that might be a little difficult right now, that there was no need to force myself to do it, and to feel no shame or regret.
Your suggestion of asking "where DO I feel drawn to show love and hospitality right now?" is a wise one, I think. I find that easier to do if I'm not marinating in the news, so this post is the only thing I plan to read connected to last night's speech.
My mom has been compiling stories about unsung Quakers for the students at Friends Community School outside of D.C. for a decade or so now. Ida would probably appreciate them. I'll see if I can get copies and email them to you. One of my favorites, if only because I knew him briefly and he had the best name ever, was of octogenarian Floyd Schmoe, who fought on behalf of Japanese folks sent to internment camps back in the day (and not so long ago).
We've done all of this before. And we'll do it again. What other alternative is there? Let them win? Absolutely not.
When I moved to Seattle after graduating from Earlham to participate in the internship program run by University Friends Meeting, Floyd was still a somewhat regular attender. He was also over 100 and would sometimes be moved to speak in Meeting (as you do). He rambled something fierce. His messages could go on for 15-20 minutes. But, as I told my mom at the time, if you make it over 100 you get to do whatever the hell you want and I'm just gonna shut my mouth and listen.
Over 100!!! If I am ever so lucky, there's part of me that feels like I may be so tired so as to finally be tired, but if I am moved to speak I'll be grateful that Friends and friends alike will be patient with my rambles (which, now that I put it, is basically the current gift of my professional life).
Mom says a good start is Quakers in the World, with the following caveat (according to her): it's too British, too White, and too male, though better than it used to be. I can access her (more diverse) stories once I get home to my own laptop.
Have unexpected company coming in Friday at 4. I can attend 1 hour, free the space for somebody who can attend the full 2 and sign up for another round...what would you prefer I do?
It's totally your choice, Gail. You're welcome to still be there (and I will share a recording I made of the first session for the pieces you missed) but I also understand if you feel that's just a lot to cram into the afternoon.
Garrett, please help me if you can -- I honestly have tears in my eyes as I write this.
I know you are always talking about reaching out and loving one another and I absolutely agree in principle, but what with the absolute devastation of cuts to USAID, and elimination of equity programs, and the women who are dying without access to reproductive care, and deportations destroying families and the seniors who are losing lifesaving medications and the kids who can't live safely as themselves, I'm just not feeling any love for the voters who put Trump and Vance and Steven Miller and Musk and the rest of them in power.
I keep hearing how all that needless misery isn't what those voters were choosing, they just wanted more affordable groceries, but I don't believe that, not really. I think there are a lot of folks who are getting some mean satisfaction from knowing that other people are suffering even worse than they are.
I'm close to living the stereotype of the clueless coastal liberal elite, and I know that gives me a lot of privilege-blindness. I know that capitalism and racism and all the rest have rotted our country since the very beginning. I'm not trying to distance myself from the reality or impress anyone with my cool, "not like the others" white person cred, but people will die, and this time around the mostly-white Republican voters chose it. Love, or even a shred of kindness, toward them does not feel possible for me right now.
Julia, I feel every ounce of your feeling in your words-- anger, grief, stuckness-- and most of all I just want to say how important all of those feelings are. How can we not feel just absolute heartbreak (and yes, resentment) at people who were conscious enablers? More than anything else, I just want to send love and connection your way right now.
As for love, outreach and empathy, I wouldn't beat yourself up yet that there are people and group that, right now, it feels harder to extend that light towards. You're right that I'm a big believer in the outstretched hand (and not a big believer in retribution), again, there is good reason for your anger and heartbreak right now. Speaking for myself personally, when I'm in that moment, I find it more productive to ask "so, where DO I feel drawn to show love and hospitality right now?" and focus so strongly on that work that your own discipline of love work (again, it doesn't have to be towards the folks you're most angry towards right now) feels more irresistible.
That's just some initial thoughts, though, which may or may not be helpful. Most of all I'm just so grateful for you being so willing to share out loud-- you're not alone! I know you spoke for so many (Including me). Let me know if you ever want to talk more/longer.
With love,
Garrett
I took a meditation class last year from a Buddhist teacher. One week, we learned loving-kindness meditations, where you invite into your heart a person for whom you have great affection—say, a dear friend, a sibling, a grandparent. Then you move on to people whom you feel more neutral toward (the mail carrier, barista, a friend of a friend you've met a couple times). Finally, you extend loving-kindness to "problematic" people, ones you may even have an adversarial relationship with.
Afterwards, I said to the teacher that I was simply unable to extend my loving-kindness to Trump and Vance (who were running for office at the time of the class). He thought for a moment and agreed that might be a little difficult right now, that there was no need to force myself to do it, and to feel no shame or regret.
Your suggestion of asking "where DO I feel drawn to show love and hospitality right now?" is a wise one, I think. I find that easier to do if I'm not marinating in the news, so this post is the only thing I plan to read connected to last night's speech.
Sounds like you have a good yoga teacher, Sue!
My mom has been compiling stories about unsung Quakers for the students at Friends Community School outside of D.C. for a decade or so now. Ida would probably appreciate them. I'll see if I can get copies and email them to you. One of my favorites, if only because I knew him briefly and he had the best name ever, was of octogenarian Floyd Schmoe, who fought on behalf of Japanese folks sent to internment camps back in the day (and not so long ago).
We've done all of this before. And we'll do it again. What other alternative is there? Let them win? Absolutely not.
I would love, love, love to see this compilation! For lots of reasons, including one's related to Floyd Schmoe's name.
When I moved to Seattle after graduating from Earlham to participate in the internship program run by University Friends Meeting, Floyd was still a somewhat regular attender. He was also over 100 and would sometimes be moved to speak in Meeting (as you do). He rambled something fierce. His messages could go on for 15-20 minutes. But, as I told my mom at the time, if you make it over 100 you get to do whatever the hell you want and I'm just gonna shut my mouth and listen.
Over 100!!! If I am ever so lucky, there's part of me that feels like I may be so tired so as to finally be tired, but if I am moved to speak I'll be grateful that Friends and friends alike will be patient with my rambles (which, now that I put it, is basically the current gift of my professional life).
Mom says a good start is Quakers in the World, with the following caveat (according to her): it's too British, too White, and too male, though better than it used to be. I can access her (more diverse) stories once I get home to my own laptop.
https://www.quakersintheworld.org/
This adult also needs a dorky earnest dad story right now. Thanks!
appreciate you!
“Life, liberty and glaring asterisks” is a great turn of phrase.
oh thank you
wow, you got me on this one. So beautifully written with enough inspiration to soften my heart. Thanks. now a subscriber.
That's so kind of you and so grateful to have you in our subscriber community! I hope you enjoy it (it's a great crew).
> We will always be the country that proclaimed justice for all and then winked.
Chills, this essay gives me chills in a good way. I have a feeling I'll be coming back and reading it a bunch this spring.
Oh thank you Anna
Have unexpected company coming in Friday at 4. I can attend 1 hour, free the space for somebody who can attend the full 2 and sign up for another round...what would you prefer I do?
It's totally your choice, Gail. You're welcome to still be there (and I will share a recording I made of the first session for the pieces you missed) but I also understand if you feel that's just a lot to cram into the afternoon.