Why I signed on to "Dads for Kamala"
Thoughts from a leftist dad and frequent skeptic of Presidential politics on why this, right now
Hi friends,
Normally on Thursday I do something for paid subscribers only. Sometimes it’s a deeply empathetic discussion, sometimes it’s a bonus essay about watching the Reagan movie at the RNC. Sometimes it’s a bunch of pictures of Swedish signs I thought were funny. We have fun, us White Pages Paid Subscribers. We even have a Discord that we share with
and her readers where we talk about gas stations and each other’s pets and various cursed op-eds. You should join us and have fun too! Especially since this is actually my job and it would be nice to be able to afford my kids’ college one day.None of that explains why I’m writing to all of you today. Well, the “I have kids” part does, but we’re getting there. I’d love for this particular essay to be spread far and wide, because it includes a time sensitive announcement. In fact, let’s start with that announcement, right off the bat.
Tomorrow, at 2:00 U.S. Eastern Time, there will be a Zoom call to kick off an organizing effort called Dads For Kamala. I will be there and I hope that other dads and granddads in this community join as well. That link takes you to a website with all the information you need (most importantly, the Zoom registration). Join us! Tell your dad to join us! Tell your kids’ dad to join us! Tell your neighbor who gives off dad vibes to join us!
Ok, good. With the lede successfully unburied, let’s talk more about why I’m joining this particular call. The Dads For Kamala is a small but mighty effort (at least for now), but I really like the initial group that’s putting it together. It’s an interracial team of dads from across a range of political ideologies. Now, if you’ve been around here for a while, you’ve probably surmised a few things about my personal politics.
If the Democratic Party is a big tent, I’m on the far left side of that tent. Like, in the corner, where there aren’t any regular chocolate chip cookies, just (shudder) carob cookies.
While not a full-on skeptic of electoral politics, I do believe that we focus far too much of our “political” effort on Presidential elections, to the detriment of so much crucially important local work.
All that’s still true, but when I was asked to join this particular effort, I didn’t hesitate for a second. Why? A bunch of reasons! As an organizer, I strongly believe in voting for the party/candidate that you can potentially push and organize to do better, rather than the party/candidate that not only won’t listen to you, but will crank the “cruel things that make life worse for people” dial up a few more notches. In an uncaring system, life under both parties will still require mutual aid and harm reduction, but not at the same scale. Plus, I’ve finally looked into this Donald Trump guy and you know what? I’m not a fan.
As for Vice President Harris, do I think that she’s, ahem, brat? Oh jeez I just aged 100 years even writing that sentence. Sure, let’s say yes. It must be true, because the two definitive sources on the matter (myself and Jake Tapper) have both said so.
But more importantly. I’m excited for her. Yes, snarky conservatives, one of the reasons I’m excited for her is that I do want a woman of color to be President. If her particular racial and gender identity didn’t matter, in terms of the kind of country we become in the future, you all wouldn’t be so weird about it. Over at Extended Scenes,
made some great points on the front. Worth the read!There’s more, though. I anticipate that, if elected, I’ll disagree with President Harris on some really important issues (Gaza, corporations vs. working people, criminal justice, the size and scale of America’s social safety net), and also that she’ll be the most progressive President of my lifetime. Multiple things will continue to be true at once, is what I’m saying. For somebody with my politics, she’ll likely be disappointing at moments and surprising at other moments.
All that was true with Biden, by the way, but it also doesn’t take divine prophetic powers to anticipate that Harris will be scrutinized and criticized and just generally treated like crap in a way that Biden would never be. Are we in for a wildly misogynistic and racist campaign? Are we gonna hear “childless cat lady” and “diversity hire” and “sleeping her way to the top” (jeez!!!)? Will people keep being absolute weirdos about the way she laughs? Will she be tokenized by some of her White fans in a cringey “Momala’ way? Will some White people be too performative about how little they’re criticizing her? Will the self-righteous White left (especially the self righteous bro left) forget, in their criticisms, that at least some of her rhetorical moderation has been the pragmatic calculation of a Gen X woman of color whose career would have died on the vine had she been viewed as “too radical?” Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes.
A side note, by the way: Laughter is great. I’m a big fan of people laughing, including Presidents. I’ve noticed that Harris doesn’t laugh a lot at people, which is the only bad form of laughter.
Another side note: Shout out cat ladies. And cat fellas. And cat non-binary people. What funny animals, cats. They mostly hate us, and we love them more for it. Speaking as a human being who gives off strong Golden Retriever energy, I could never, which is why I love them.
That’s all to say. Vice President Harris is an extremely qualified candidate for President and would be a better choice for those of us who dream of true liberation than any Republican… but compared to these guys? The only felon in America who makes me question my commitment to prison abolition and his running mate, what’s his name again? J.D. Elegy? J.D. Thinks that Everybody He Grew Up with Is Lazy? J.D. Did Not Actually Have Sex With A Couch But Has Now Had To Publicly Deny Having Sex With A Couch? No contest! Let’s elect Harris! I am told that she’s brat. And that’s a thing that I am looking for in a President, whether they are or aren’t brat.
As for what midwestern White guy she should choose as Vice President, I’ve already covered that. You’re welcome, America!
But none of that explains my biggest reason for saying yes. I was inspired to join this effort because I realized that it was the first moment (ever!) where I’ve been asked to organize out of my identity as a dad. As somebody who has run organizing trainings for more than a thousand people across the world, I get a fascinating vantage point into the predictable pattern of who does and doesn’t raise their hand when it comes time to build and sustain communities of support and liberation. Women and non-binary folks do. Men, especially cis men, don’t. And when it comes to parents specifically, oh goodness. Moms all the way down. Dads few and far between.
I don't have to give you the full autopsy of why this is the case. Have you heard about this patriarchy thing? Not the best! And one of its awful tentacles is the way that men and women are both socialized around the concept of care. In straight relationships in particular, men get to focus on our own advancement and women, be it in the home, on PTAs, in their workplaces, and in the voting booth, are asked to hold everything together. Remember the pandemic? Any guesses as to which parenting cohort left the workforce in greater numbers because who else was going to watch the kids when they were in virtual school? Dads? With all that bread we had to win? Come on.
I absolutely adore everything about being a dad. I love processing the world and our place in it alongside my kids. I love that we’re all growing up together, our little family unit. I love that there’s no way to be perfect at it. I love how grateful it makes me for my dad. I don’t believe (thanks J.D. Vance for stating a terrible opinion that I can refute) that you have to have kids to have “stake in the future.” I don’t believe that my voice matters more because I’m a parent. But I do believe that being a dad specifically is a huge part of my identity, but one that I’m rarely asked to consider when it comes time to care about anybody other than myself and my nuclear family unit.
What is Dads for Kamala going to do? What will come of this? I don’t know. Maybe a lot! Maybe not that much! We create the future, you know. But I was touched to get an email that said “hey, we should do something in this moment… as dads.” That shouldn’t be novel. But it is, sadly. And it will be, if we don’t try something different.
Here’s that Zoom link, again. Come join us tomorrow! And here’s Dads For Kamala on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. Let’s give this a shot.
End notes:
If you’re reading this and want to argue with me about electoral politics vs. other forms of organizing, I probably agree with you more than you think! Whatever you’re doing instead of caring about the political election, if it’s focused on justice and caring for people, I’m sure it’s great. And I’m happy to support it! So let’s not argue. Tell me about your thing and how I can help.
If you’re reading this and you’re like “I’m even MORE enthusiastic about Harris than this guy is…” also great! I would very much like her to be President and am glad that you’re amped.
Oh, and if you’re a conservative who wants to write a comment about how much you hate Kamala Harris, send me an email instead. Seriously. garrett@barnraisersproject.org. I’ve found it a far better venue than comments sections, which are the world’s worst places for conversations across ideological divides.
Will I be writing a ton about the various racial and gender dynamics of what’s to come? Yes. I’ll admit, having written a book about how I spent a lifetime just trying to be the most perfect anti-racist who wasn’t like other White people and who, in doing so, missed the opportunity to actually organize with other White people… I’m nervous and hopeful for this moment. Will we all repeat the same mistakes? Jeez, I hope not, but i’m worried. Is this a book plug? Oh shoot, I guess it is, but this time around it’s also an offering. I genuinely think I wrote something that can be helpful in spurring reflection for other progressive White people in moments like this and I hope you read it.
Will there be new Barnraisers offerings in the fall, given the need for organizing trainings? Of course. I promise I’m working on them!
Oh, I’ve got a cool podcast appearance to plug. Speaking of not just yelling at people who disagree with us politically, I was on a really fascinating new-ish pod called
. You should subscribe and listen. My episode was about White privilege, and whether it exists (or at least that’s where we started, we went much deeper than that). I was the White wokester in the conversation. Dr. Jason Hill was the Black conservative, but both our takes were more complicated than those longlines might have you believe. It was a treat! Legitimately! Please listen!
I appreciate you, Garrett, and am encouraging everyone to PUSH Harris on Gaza and funding Israel. The last few days have seen people's moods lifted and how Biden dropping out has inspired people to stay in the fight. But too many are jumping on the Harris endorsement bandwagon without asking her to reveal where she stands on issues. Her statement this morning (see below) is deeply troubling, both for the content and because it reveals her lack of understanding of the moment. Young people (and those who draw the line at genocide) are NOT going to come out and vote for more of the same. That horrible statement just lost her a ton of goodwill. So maybe you can organize those dads around pushing her to call for a permanent ceasefire and arms embargo???
https://x.com/VP/status/1816490945501708660
Several years ago my husband remarked on the fact that, rather than telling people the specific job I do for a living, I refer to myself as a working Mum; and how neither he nor any other men he knows ever claim to be working Dads. I think so many people would benefit from doing a thought experiment where they equate the value of their paid work and their care work in their own mind, not just to others. No one talks about courting the "Dad" vote, or shares polling data on which way Midwestern Dads are leaning. So good on you and the other members for elevating the Dad side of the identity on par with the political - if for no other reason than it will throw a wrench in the voter predicition algorithms while they try to rebalance the boxes of male voters.