I have a very specific answer to 8 and 12 from yesterday.
I learned yesterday evening that my local GOP was having their monthly meeting 2 blocks from my house, and they invited known White supremacist Caleb Shumaker as their keynote speaker. I sent out some texts and posted to IG, but ultimately no one came through. I had a thought that as much as I try to be someone who builds community, if I don't have anyone to come with me to stand against literal Neo-nazis, maybe I have done everything wrong. I rode my bike by myself and joined the two other women on the sidewalk. Two. In a town that prides itself on being special and progressive. In a town where 200 people upvoted the Reddit post bringing attention to it. I tried to stuff my despair and be present.
Another guy joined us (another middle-aged punk from the neighborhood who I somehow didn't know which seems crazy), shortly before an aggressive looking man sauntered up to us and raised the back of his shirt to show us a swastika tattoo and told us he wanted to debate us. Another large man pulled over and got out to "talk" to us, in an imposing, confrontational manner.
To make a long story short, while us little women fended off the weirdly imposing random dude, Tim (my new neighborhood punk friend) somehow converted the guy with the swastika tattoo and by the time I was able to re-engage with that conversation, he was recommending tattoo shops that would cover his swastika for free. Dude came over to the rest of us, shook our hands, and said, "I'm so so sorry. I hope you have a really nice rest of your evening."
Turns out Tim talked to the guy long enough to learn that he adopted his nazi identity in prison and Tim convinced him that he didn't need that to keep him safe anymore, and he had a choice about how he wanted to live his life on the outside. It was amazing to witness and definitely the bravest thing I've seen anyone do lately.
I'm sorry that was so long but it was a wild night and I'm trying to make sense of it.
This story contains so many rich layers-- how so often we're let down by our neighbors (even when we've leaned into community building), but also, how the neighbors we need reveal themselves! sometimes in particularly magical/transformational ways! holy cow, Cathleen. This story.
Though I've been in and around movement all my life, when it comes to the personal need to build community I've been stymied, I'll admit, by a bone-deep resistance to being here at all and a very infantile hope (born out of serious early trauma) that someone *else* would show up and fix (waves hand around) all of this, save me, express interest or concern about my state of being.
I've not been entirely unlucky. I have deep friendships with a small cadre of folks that have held me in truly dark moments. But even that hasn't, until very recently, shaken off the inertia of the freeze response, or the magical thinking that if I just wait long enough folks will show up and create a community of care around me.
Only recently have I been able to find the extra spoons to really appreciate the old adage that you get what you give. If I want connection and community and care, I have to offer the same. Not in a tit-for-tat, now it's your turn to take care of me kind of way, but in a truly open-handed and open-hearted way based in trusting that it will come back to me from somewhere (Where? I don't know! Which doesn't make it unlikely or impossible.) when I need it.
Some of us require a long time to develop capacity, collect the spoons, undo an understandable history of basic mistrust for humanity in order to be what we want to see in the world. I guess I just want to say to anyone still working to get there, I SEE YOU. IT'S SO HARD. STILL, KEEP GOING. WE'LL GET THERE TOGETHER. Promise.
I love this. Just absolutely love it. I think this is a huge piece of the "why don't we just lean into community" puzzle that gets lost by its boosters (you know, like me!). In order to commit to people, we have to grieve the ways that people (individually and collectively) have broken our hearts.
I've seen some reactions to last weekend's Hands Off rallies that have made me stop and think. One person posted on Reddit that they hadn't attended because there was no mention of Gaza in the official Hands Off literature. Was this deliberate? Did they want to avoid it in fear that it could overwhelm other issues, or that it's too controversial? There were definitely several signs on the topic at my local rally, and this is (understandably) a hugely important topic to a lot of people.
I also saw this, from a Black woman: "As a Black elder, I’ve been fighting in some way or other for my whole life. White folx, feel free to step to the front this time, and fight for me and mine. If something goes down, I’m a much more likely target, as are my brown and black kin, than you are." A Black Substacker said something very similar. Is the reason there was such a muted police presence at the Hands Off protests because it was a primarily White crowd? How can we best use our White privilege to fight for our Black and Brown neighbors?
These are both really important "yes ands.." Sue, and the kind of questions that (in my opinion) only make movements stronger when they're willing to consider them.
I was already on board with everything you’re building here, Garrett. Unlocking the door to my heart by referencing the greatest baseball movie of all time was wholly unnecessary…but not unwelcome.
I have a very specific answer to 8 and 12 from yesterday.
I learned yesterday evening that my local GOP was having their monthly meeting 2 blocks from my house, and they invited known White supremacist Caleb Shumaker as their keynote speaker. I sent out some texts and posted to IG, but ultimately no one came through. I had a thought that as much as I try to be someone who builds community, if I don't have anyone to come with me to stand against literal Neo-nazis, maybe I have done everything wrong. I rode my bike by myself and joined the two other women on the sidewalk. Two. In a town that prides itself on being special and progressive. In a town where 200 people upvoted the Reddit post bringing attention to it. I tried to stuff my despair and be present.
Another guy joined us (another middle-aged punk from the neighborhood who I somehow didn't know which seems crazy), shortly before an aggressive looking man sauntered up to us and raised the back of his shirt to show us a swastika tattoo and told us he wanted to debate us. Another large man pulled over and got out to "talk" to us, in an imposing, confrontational manner.
To make a long story short, while us little women fended off the weirdly imposing random dude, Tim (my new neighborhood punk friend) somehow converted the guy with the swastika tattoo and by the time I was able to re-engage with that conversation, he was recommending tattoo shops that would cover his swastika for free. Dude came over to the rest of us, shook our hands, and said, "I'm so so sorry. I hope you have a really nice rest of your evening."
Turns out Tim talked to the guy long enough to learn that he adopted his nazi identity in prison and Tim convinced him that he didn't need that to keep him safe anymore, and he had a choice about how he wanted to live his life on the outside. It was amazing to witness and definitely the bravest thing I've seen anyone do lately.
I'm sorry that was so long but it was a wild night and I'm trying to make sense of it.
This story contains so many rich layers-- how so often we're let down by our neighbors (even when we've leaned into community building), but also, how the neighbors we need reveal themselves! sometimes in particularly magical/transformational ways! holy cow, Cathleen. This story.
That made me a little teary. Thanks so much for sharing that story, Cathleen. I needed that.
Me too!
Though I've been in and around movement all my life, when it comes to the personal need to build community I've been stymied, I'll admit, by a bone-deep resistance to being here at all and a very infantile hope (born out of serious early trauma) that someone *else* would show up and fix (waves hand around) all of this, save me, express interest or concern about my state of being.
I've not been entirely unlucky. I have deep friendships with a small cadre of folks that have held me in truly dark moments. But even that hasn't, until very recently, shaken off the inertia of the freeze response, or the magical thinking that if I just wait long enough folks will show up and create a community of care around me.
Only recently have I been able to find the extra spoons to really appreciate the old adage that you get what you give. If I want connection and community and care, I have to offer the same. Not in a tit-for-tat, now it's your turn to take care of me kind of way, but in a truly open-handed and open-hearted way based in trusting that it will come back to me from somewhere (Where? I don't know! Which doesn't make it unlikely or impossible.) when I need it.
Some of us require a long time to develop capacity, collect the spoons, undo an understandable history of basic mistrust for humanity in order to be what we want to see in the world. I guess I just want to say to anyone still working to get there, I SEE YOU. IT'S SO HARD. STILL, KEEP GOING. WE'LL GET THERE TOGETHER. Promise.
I love this. Just absolutely love it. I think this is a huge piece of the "why don't we just lean into community" puzzle that gets lost by its boosters (you know, like me!). In order to commit to people, we have to grieve the ways that people (individually and collectively) have broken our hearts.
I've seen some reactions to last weekend's Hands Off rallies that have made me stop and think. One person posted on Reddit that they hadn't attended because there was no mention of Gaza in the official Hands Off literature. Was this deliberate? Did they want to avoid it in fear that it could overwhelm other issues, or that it's too controversial? There were definitely several signs on the topic at my local rally, and this is (understandably) a hugely important topic to a lot of people.
I also saw this, from a Black woman: "As a Black elder, I’ve been fighting in some way or other for my whole life. White folx, feel free to step to the front this time, and fight for me and mine. If something goes down, I’m a much more likely target, as are my brown and black kin, than you are." A Black Substacker said something very similar. Is the reason there was such a muted police presence at the Hands Off protests because it was a primarily White crowd? How can we best use our White privilege to fight for our Black and Brown neighbors?
These are both really important "yes ands.." Sue, and the kind of questions that (in my opinion) only make movements stronger when they're willing to consider them.
Annie Savoy would be out on the streets with a very well-crafted sign! Crash and Nuke would accompany her because who wouldn't?
That's 100% the right answer. She would single-handedly organize the entire locker room without even trying.
Crash would also have a speech ready. He does make speeches.
I was already on board with everything you’re building here, Garrett. Unlocking the door to my heart by referencing the greatest baseball movie of all time was wholly unnecessary…but not unwelcome.
"the only church that feeds the soul..."
Another article from you that makes such a positive difference for me. Thank you!