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Asha Sanaker's avatar

I'm reminded of a moment early in my time at Earlham. I made some cynical, flip comment about voting to Phyllis Boanes, assuming that because of her socialist political leanings that she would eschew electoral politics and agree with me. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "People died so I could vote. I always vote." She wasn't saying that she expected the election outcome to be what she wanted and that's why she was voting. She was saying, essentially, I am part of a chain of action and I owe it to the people who came before me to honor them by taking that action they fought so hard for me to be able to take.

This was a humbling moment, but a necessary one for me. Not only because ever since I always vote, but also because I got very clear about what my obligation is to the people who came before me.

I do agree with the other commenter who named that it is Whiteness (and I would add Maleness) which teaches us we can expect to get what we want in our individual lifetime. I think the further away from those identities you are, the more you have to accept the reality of your own individual efficacy. And, honestly, I HATE IT. Having grown up with parents who were activists, carted to my first protest when I was in a brown corduroy Snuggly on my mom's chest, I want to believe that we're getting somewhere better than where we were when they began passing the torch to me. I'm TIRED, and disheartened about the world my own kids are aging into adulthood as a part of. But I'm trying to remember those early Quaker women I've mentioned here before, who were imprisoned and tortured simply for having the audacity to preach in public. Like Phyllis, I owe them. Not to complete their work, but to honor their struggle by carrying things forward whatever few steps I can manage. That's it. That's the entirety of what I can expect to accomplish. I wish it was more than that, but it's not and never has been more than that.

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Amy's avatar

I love this so much. My mother-in-law died last month, and the thing I've been most surprised about is how many people have come together to support my wife and me. Dropping off food, sending care packages, watching our dogs — community has been so bolstering. But I've also been surprised by how much strangers have helped and supported us. Some of them because it's their job, but more of them because we've come across them in situations (renting their AirBNB, arranging care for my wife's grandmother, etc.). It struck me recently that I knew that many of them didn't share my politics and yet, we were connecting and showing up and their kindness changed my experience. I certainly don't believe in entertaining folks who don't believe in the basic dignity of the marginalized, but I do believe that it's our connections and willingness to engage with other people in a positive way that will help us begin to repair the divided America we live in. I've been brainstorming how to engage more deeply with my community (I recently read about a family that does an "open door Thursday" where they serve snacks and people can come by to play games or hang out and just be with others and I'm wondering about doing something like that) and also how I can go beyond donating to causes in my area and start being in community with people. This post was a great reminder -- I'm saving it for later when I need the encouragement.

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