Scams, hustles and false idols that were supposed to save us

A partial accounting

-Meritocracy, and the lie that the rich and powerful must have done something impressive to earn the right to rule over us.

-Capitalism, and the calculus that a million human lives are disposable so that a select few can gaze down at us from atop mountains of money.

-Misogyny, somehow both “not that serious” and also a witchy incantation so powerful that men lose their minds any time it’s brought to our attention.

-Racism, which the majority of us not directly employed by the current U.S. regime claim that we hate, but which we also pretend can be washed away with a workplace training, or a single summer of protest, or constipated statements about “listening and learning,” or even just pointing in the direction of another (presumably more racist) white person within eyesight.

-Mass death: as a fact of life.

-Locker room talk: as a victimless lark.

-Same day delivery: as a human right.

-Centrism: as the only acceptable form of politics for serious grown-ups.

-Nihilism: as the most useful possible emotion for those of us further to the left.

-Dignity: as a finite resource, only available to a sliver of the population.

-Our phones: as tiny miracles, or whatever other claim Steve Jobs used to make on a stage, in a black turtleneck, with a PowerPoint.

-Every other claim that Steve Jobs ever made on a stage, in a black turtleneck, with a PowerPoint.

-Just about every claim that any CEO, particularly any “great man” CEO, has ever made (stage and PowerPoint optional).

-The concept of the “great man,” and that I should aspire to be one.

-The concept of “good men” and how all it takes to be one is to claim the mantle for yourself.

-Every single time that I’ve been told “how to be a man” that doesn’t start with, “first of all, practice being immensely kind, because virtually every message about gender you’ve internalized tells you the exact opposite, and that seems like the root of why we’re so damned dangerous.”

-Every single time white America has claimed “well, we tried to fight racism, and we just didn’t know what to do, or we went too far, or we got tired of trying” as if the demands of the moment (reparations and repair) are ephemeral ghost stories rather than concrete questions of policy and power.

-Every single time a worker has been told that they have more in common with the bosses than other human beings just trying to get by.

-The convenient story that Trump is an anomaly, the first time America has flirted with fascism.

-The equally convenient story that the work of this moment is merely to vote out one bad President (again).

-The myth that what makes a city progressive is a set of lifestyle amenities (ramen shops, graffiti alleys, music festivals) instead of a commitment to feed, house and welcome everybody.

-The myth that what makes an employer progressive is whether they have a float at Pride and not whether they pay their taxes.

-The myth that what makes a life worth living is your own house, protected from undesirables by sprawl and cameras and brute force.

-Borders: lines on maps that claim to separate worthy people from unworthy people.

-School district boundaries: lines on maps that claim to separate worthy children from unworthy children.

-Prisons: concrete boxes that claim to separate those of us who still considered human from those who have been stripped of that right.

-Men with guns, in their houses: the source of a family’s safety, somehow?

-Men with guns, wearing uniforms: the source of our collective safety, somehow?

-Gamification: of anything and everything.

-The environment: there for the taking, forever and without obstruction.

-Boys: they “will be boys,” wont’t they? In perpetuity, up to and beyond the moment that their names pop up in the Epstein files.

-War: the source of freedom and human flourishing rather than a depraved assault on it.

Patriarchy and white supremacy: rotten systems that somehow don't leave their rot on everybody, “beneficiaries” and victims alike.

-Elon Musk, Sam Altman and Jeff Bezos: smart men who should get whatever they want.

-An app made by a sad, lonely Harvard student for the purpose of judging women’s bodies for laughs: too big to fail.

-Mark Zuckerberg’s gold chain: a cool thing that works.

-Podcasts where dudes talk about crypto and bow hunting and how “me too” went too far: a vital pillar of the economy.

-Gambling: a thing we should do more frequently, for more reasons, ideally on our phones.

-God: Cheering from the heavens every time a megachurch pastor slips on a new pair of designer sneakers before telling a gay parishioner, “of course the church loves you, but….”

-Trans people, existing: the reason, we’re told, that nobody likes the Democratic Party (a political group, it should be noted, that has never stood up for trans people in any meaningful way).

-The robots: who should now be summoned to do everything we used to do for each other.

-Your neighbors: whom you probably do not know, and who are therefore not to be trusted.

-Data centers: more deserving of land and water than your own grandchildren.

-Your brain: no longer to be trusted with the joy of creation, or art-making, or writing pages and pages of terrible poetry until you finally stumble on something gorgeous and true.

-Feeding each other: no longer a necessity, because we can instead tap a button and await a notification, twenty minutes later, that a bag of food has been dropped off at our doorstep by either an anonymous human being or a robot on wheels (same difference).

-Writing love letters and obituaries: one more thing the robots can do for us.

-Politics, as an act of yelling louder.

-Politics, as an act of waiting for a savior.

-Politics, as a consumer purchasing decision.

-Politics, as something that you do every election cycle, but never again.

-Politics, as a punditry slot machine that, when we pull the lever, delivers us a token of validation or rage.

-Politics, as something that’s supposed to make us feel less rather than more alive.

-Revolution, as a cool brand that looks sick on t-shirts, rather than a messy, human thing that comes alive in a million boring meetings.

-Liberation, as something you can somehow conjure magically through strident proclamation while you balk at inviting your neighbors over for dinner.

-Neighborliness, as something that we start doing the moment that the TV cameras are on and the fascists are at our doorstep.

-Beloved community, as something that we talk about, but can’t really imagine building.

-You, as somebody who isn’t worthy of loving, being loved, and building a life centered on love.

It’s no wonder, then…

…that everybody is talking about community these days. It’s no wonder we’re turning towards each other. We have tried everything else. Or I have, at least. I’ve bought into far too many of these myths. And I’ve been let down by every single one.

That’s not to say that we won’t let each other down. We will. But we will try to be better, at least. There’s a difference in coming together to mend then scrolling alone, waiting to be torn further apart.

Why not try community, if nothing else seems to work?

Why not try community, if this is what it feels like to be so alone?

Why not try community, if in the midst of this cacophony of lies, we might sit together and finally tell one another the truth?

End notes:

-I am announcing something fun this week: I told past Barnraisers participants yesterday, will tell folks who are signed up for the Barnraisers interest list tomorrow, and then all of us, here, on Friday. It’s exciting, you all! And while I get to help make it happen, it’s not really my news, but a cool opportunity for your community.

-I share this next link with a massive caveat: If theological language (and Christian theology specifically) isn’t for you, this video probably won’t be be your cup of tea. If, however, you don’t mind some occasional references to God from somebody (me) wearing an ostentatious robe… who knows, maybe you’ll enjoy this? I had the chance to spend the weekend doing all sorts of events at Trinity Episcopal in Portland, Oregon. One of those events was a sermon, and you know what? It’s actually a pretty decent 10 minute summary of what I feel and believe most in this moment.

-Why should you become a paid subscriber to this newsletter? It allows me to support my family (which is nice), I think it does help the world and should continue existing (I’m trying) and if I’m being honest might be the best deal in newslettering [you get an occasional but not overwhelming number of bonus essays, access to the absolute best community discussions on the Internet, discounts on a silly and fun podcast, FREE merch (hats, shirts, posters, totes, oh my). And for only $50?] Well, when you put it that way….

-Don’t forget Minneapolis, friends, and especially don’t forget rent relief in Minneapolis. The need persists.