I don't like black and white cookies. But remember when you told another state that it was OK to bring coleslaw from the deli? New York already knows that. They swung by the bodega on the way from work, running late, and grabbed the black and whites. They "aren't really a dessert person" which you already know because if they were, they would have grabbed rainbow cookies instead IYKYK.
Don't pay attention to the restaurant's name. Maine gets lobsters (an insane choice for a potluck when blueberry pie is sitting right there), massachusetts gets cod (and beans - that's obviously the right potluck choice here), Vermont gets maple syrup (no notes), even though new hampshire has all those things, too! But instead of counting nh out, we invent the most popular food in America. You're welcome.
I think your "names that are affronts to God" is missing a few items. "Possum Pie"??? Given what I know about Arkansas, I had to look it up to make sure there wasn't any actual possum in there. Perhaps there should be a category (and I know I'm being a provincial and mono-lingual American here) of "Foods that require an explainer card, but are actually delicious." Several items on this list would feature, including POSSUM PIE (Good god, who thought that was a good name idea??), FUNERAL POTATOES (not just for funerals?), PASTELON, CARNE ADOVADA, RUNZAS, KADUN PIKA, and KNOEPFLA.
I will not defend Black & White cookies. They are trash.
As a life-long Pennsylvanian I am disappointed to see that the best potluck food America's Test Kitchen could come up with for us was Philadelphia pork sandwiches, which... delicious, but like... come on. Here is a short list of way better options:
You had me actually chuckling out loud on this one! I am very excited to roll up to the next potluck I'm invited to with a full clambake lol. Very reasonable in this economy!!
As someone who lived in Maryland for 10 years, I am here to tell you that if you are hoping to ever see crabcakes at a potluck, you'd better invite some EXTREMELY wealthy folks who would think nothing of dropping a couple hundred bucks on their dish. This, on the other hand, seemed to be a staple at every potluck I ever attended, and is shockingly nowhere to be found on the ATK list: https://www.mybakingaddiction.com/ambrosia-salad-recipe/
ATK is located IN BOSTON and it is obvious that they have never attended a potluck in their own state! My former workplace threw the best potlucks and you know what we never once had? Clambake. You know what we did have every time? At least one crockpot full of mini meatballs! (And lots of vegetarian food, all carefully labeled, because it was actually Cambridge.)
This roundup was utterly delightful and hilarious! I ended up learning about so many regional dishes I'd never heard of before and have come away with a few new recipes to try out. Also, as a lifelong New Yorker, I could not agree more about black & white cookies--I have never eaten a *good* one, let alone a transcendent one! That choice for our state truly baffled me, especially when bagels and NY-style pizza were RIGHT THERE!!
I must share a long story of Potluck Pizza! Several years ago I worked with a bunch of well-meaning but very misguided people who made the worst amalgamation of poor party committee decisions they possibly could: not only were we all expected to contribute cash for the catered main dish, but also contribute a homemade side to compliment it. The committee tried to assign food categories by last names. Added context, this was a university in the DC metro area, so most folks were having to figure out how to transport their assigned potluck dish on public transit. I don't know what this type of gathering should be called because it eliminated every condition that makes a potluck true and good and left us with a potluck-shaped nightmare. The kicker? This all went down the day I returned to work after traveling halfway across the country for a family medical crisis and I didn't know about it until I got to work that day. Apparently I became a legend when I arranged for Pizza Hut to deliver a stuffed crust Hawaiian pizza*, stomped in with it, plopped it on the buffet table, announced that I was "sick of this shit", and took two slices back to my office. *I legit like this controversial pie, but also it was the most passive aggressive choice and I did that on purpose. Reports were that it was gone in 10 minutes, and witnessing my response to this was cathartic for many.
Massachusetts had BOSTON BAKED BEANS right there! Also, in Iowa that's called a Maid-Rite and it has absolutely no right to be as delicious as it is. But definitely really messy--I'd strategize to eat it over some cheese enchiladas or one of those rices.
Look at all the seeds in those watermelons! Remember having to spit them out?
I saw the word Runsas and wanted to whack a wooden ruler on someone's typing fingers. Just kidding. I'm a copy editor, not a nun. But I DO think they might need a good one on staff. ME. Their leadership team seems rather New York-y, so I don't know if they'll see the use of hiring a Midwesterner. But, hey, it's worth a shot. I'll do some digging.
I agree with the unfortunate name that includes loose meat. They should Frenchify it or something ... like they do with foie gras.
Because of the å in Kådun pika, I did some searching for Norwegian words. Yeah, I know the dish and words come from Guam, but I thought I'd have a little fun. If I squint and look between my fingers, I can pretend that it means cowgirl chicken in Norwegian.
NY/NH hybrid here.
I don't like black and white cookies. But remember when you told another state that it was OK to bring coleslaw from the deli? New York already knows that. They swung by the bodega on the way from work, running late, and grabbed the black and whites. They "aren't really a dessert person" which you already know because if they were, they would have grabbed rainbow cookies instead IYKYK.
Don't pay attention to the restaurant's name. Maine gets lobsters (an insane choice for a potluck when blueberry pie is sitting right there), massachusetts gets cod (and beans - that's obviously the right potluck choice here), Vermont gets maple syrup (no notes), even though new hampshire has all those things, too! But instead of counting nh out, we invent the most popular food in America. You're welcome.
I think your "names that are affronts to God" is missing a few items. "Possum Pie"??? Given what I know about Arkansas, I had to look it up to make sure there wasn't any actual possum in there. Perhaps there should be a category (and I know I'm being a provincial and mono-lingual American here) of "Foods that require an explainer card, but are actually delicious." Several items on this list would feature, including POSSUM PIE (Good god, who thought that was a good name idea??), FUNERAL POTATOES (not just for funerals?), PASTELON, CARNE ADOVADA, RUNZAS, KADUN PIKA, and KNOEPFLA.
I will not defend Black & White cookies. They are trash.
Oh, Garrett--this is just...<chef's kiss dot gif>
As a life-long Pennsylvanian I am disappointed to see that the best potluck food America's Test Kitchen could come up with for us was Philadelphia pork sandwiches, which... delicious, but like... come on. Here is a short list of way better options:
1. Shoo-fly pie
2. Whoopie pies
3. A giant pile of pierogies
4. A crockpot full of pork and sauerkraut
You had me actually chuckling out loud on this one! I am very excited to roll up to the next potluck I'm invited to with a full clambake lol. Very reasonable in this economy!!
and lobster rolls. LOBSTER ROLLS? OMG, invite me to that party.
hahahahahaha we must be going to the wrong potlucks
As someone who lived in Maryland for 10 years, I am here to tell you that if you are hoping to ever see crabcakes at a potluck, you'd better invite some EXTREMELY wealthy folks who would think nothing of dropping a couple hundred bucks on their dish. This, on the other hand, seemed to be a staple at every potluck I ever attended, and is shockingly nowhere to be found on the ATK list: https://www.mybakingaddiction.com/ambrosia-salad-recipe/
ATK is located IN BOSTON and it is obvious that they have never attended a potluck in their own state! My former workplace threw the best potlucks and you know what we never once had? Clambake. You know what we did have every time? At least one crockpot full of mini meatballs! (And lots of vegetarian food, all carefully labeled, because it was actually Cambridge.)
This roundup was utterly delightful and hilarious! I ended up learning about so many regional dishes I'd never heard of before and have come away with a few new recipes to try out. Also, as a lifelong New Yorker, I could not agree more about black & white cookies--I have never eaten a *good* one, let alone a transcendent one! That choice for our state truly baffled me, especially when bagels and NY-style pizza were RIGHT THERE!!
I must share a long story of Potluck Pizza! Several years ago I worked with a bunch of well-meaning but very misguided people who made the worst amalgamation of poor party committee decisions they possibly could: not only were we all expected to contribute cash for the catered main dish, but also contribute a homemade side to compliment it. The committee tried to assign food categories by last names. Added context, this was a university in the DC metro area, so most folks were having to figure out how to transport their assigned potluck dish on public transit. I don't know what this type of gathering should be called because it eliminated every condition that makes a potluck true and good and left us with a potluck-shaped nightmare. The kicker? This all went down the day I returned to work after traveling halfway across the country for a family medical crisis and I didn't know about it until I got to work that day. Apparently I became a legend when I arranged for Pizza Hut to deliver a stuffed crust Hawaiian pizza*, stomped in with it, plopped it on the buffet table, announced that I was "sick of this shit", and took two slices back to my office. *I legit like this controversial pie, but also it was the most passive aggressive choice and I did that on purpose. Reports were that it was gone in 10 minutes, and witnessing my response to this was cathartic for many.
Massachusetts had BOSTON BAKED BEANS right there! Also, in Iowa that's called a Maid-Rite and it has absolutely no right to be as delicious as it is. But definitely really messy--I'd strategize to eat it over some cheese enchiladas or one of those rices.
Look at all the seeds in those watermelons! Remember having to spit them out?
I saw the word Runsas and wanted to whack a wooden ruler on someone's typing fingers. Just kidding. I'm a copy editor, not a nun. But I DO think they might need a good one on staff. ME. Their leadership team seems rather New York-y, so I don't know if they'll see the use of hiring a Midwesterner. But, hey, it's worth a shot. I'll do some digging.
I agree with the unfortunate name that includes loose meat. They should Frenchify it or something ... like they do with foie gras.
Because of the å in Kådun pika, I did some searching for Norwegian words. Yeah, I know the dish and words come from Guam, but I thought I'd have a little fun. If I squint and look between my fingers, I can pretend that it means cowgirl chicken in Norwegian.
P.S. It's Zohran.
I needed this today. Thanks, Garrett!
The giant Italian sub is such a brilliant idea.