250 words about the United States of America

So here we are

We say many things, but mostly one. Do you see me? Do you acknowledge that I have a story, that I worry/love/ache/hope?

When I’ve been urged to stand for the pledge, to love or leave this place, my reply rarely satisfies. That Baldwin quote, about loving America so much that you must criticize it, doesn’t move this country’s self-declared super fans.

It’s so hard to admit the truth, to ask a stranger to love you. It’s far easier to threaten. And so they do. They sneer…

We will make you revere this land, even if it kills us both. We will mandate it. You will repeat after us: this is freedom. We will teach your children that this place is without flaws. When you attend a sporting event, there will be a pause in the action, and an old man will stand and wave. You will not be given the option to love this man with a question, nor a gentle smile. This man is the army, you’ll be told, and the army is the country. To critique either is to spit in the old man’s face.

Nation states are daydreams, but load bearing.

God bless America and God damn America are both prayers.

I don’t hate the old man. I hope he lives a beautiful life. I hope we all do, especially those never afforded a stadium’s applause.

We haven’t gotten close yet, not in two hundred fifty years.

But we still get to try.